Episode 4 “The Cryme Ring”

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To start off, I want to let you all know that there is no super hero manual. I stepped into my new role and took a freight train of terror straight to the chest. Dropping me to my knees while gasping for breath and being ran over for at least 2 hours, slowly grinding me into a pile of a messed up, mind-mangled, sleep-deprived parent. There are no trade-ins and no refunds.  I probably will have a never-ending bill from the hospital. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse. I realize I will probably be wrong most of the time and the rules will change a hundred different ways each day (Nothing different than having a wife untitled). So what would do you do? Sleeping is out of the question and there’s no room for magical fairy juice to drink and make everything better. I’ve heard it and now I believe it.  There’s a little thing they like to call “survival mode” here in the twin cities.

I’m going back to the first week, when the villains hit the streets of #dadville (came home from the NICU, same difference. Little twin terrors, I mean twincesses!) I found out about my new identity and apparently my wife’s new identity as well. We knocked out Starvation Scream with the amazing milk cannons. And by we, I mean my wife did all the work and I took half the credit. What a site to see!  As you can tell, I like things in pairs. Face With Tears Of Joy Emoji (Twitter Version)Face With Tears Of Joy Emoji (Twitter Version)Face With Tears Of Joy Emoji (Twitter Version)  We celebrated our win but didn’t realize there would be multiple villains in the streets. Waiting for us, mostly at night, staring us down and like I said before, there is no manual to this insanity of street cleaning upping.  Ok, just keep reading at this point…

It was dark (I mean nights are always dark, for the most part) but this was darker than normal for a normal dark night. Probably because we were working under cover(s).  Alactate and myself decided to keep watch as we always do when we are working it.  Trying to be quiet as to not to wake up any sleeping villians. We were flirt fighting our way down 3rd base street and we heard a noise outside the door (I meant we were on 3rd street, there aren’t any doors there). We decided to ignore the noise and got back to conducting business (and by conducting business, let’s just say I had my business socks half off and I was making deals). The noise kept getting louder, and no, it wasn’t Alactate. We decided we had to take action, just not in the action I was expecting.  It was the leader of the Cryme Ring family that decided to pay us a visit.  We were still under cover(s) and I could barely see past Alactate’s milk cannons.  We made out a dark shapeless face. It went on to say, “Listen hear Mother Fathers, I own the cryme ring in this city and I will own all you Mother Fathers, like I always have. Just because you took out Starvation Scream, doesn’t mean you can take out my entire Cryme family.” A second later it vanished into thin air.  We were questioning our sanity, as our sleep deprivation from cleaning the streets the nights before had kept us from performing very well. (by performing well…) It was a few minutes..  Ok, a few seconds… and we were off on home stretch.  “This was a decent finish”, we thought to ourselves, “How bad could this cryme ring be?”  If we only knew…  Until next time.


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